New beginnings and old habits

One month ago my parents said a tearful goodbye to me at Philly International and I boarded a one way flight to Indonesia. It’s been nothing short of a whirlwind of a move. I've already been to 3 weddings, 2 formal ceremonies, one baby shower and a staff retreat on a resort island. However, I'd be lying if I said that everything has been perfect since the moment I landed, because it hasn't been. I would like to emphasize that no matter how much a person travels or how much diversity they are exposed to, culture shock will always happen, and I am no exception.

If there was ever a debate, I am here to assure you all that I am indeed an introvert (according to a BuzzFeed quiz I'm a Mild introvert- see definition below). What does this have to do with culture shock you may ask? Everything. I'm the type of person who loves people but at the end of the day I need serious alone time to recharge and mentally get ready for the next day- and in a country where it is all too common to ask very personal questions and to have people constantly checking in on you and making sure you’re eating, sleeping, enjoying your time, etc., alone time is a luxury. The first few weeks were very overwhelming for me simply because everyone was so excited that I was here and everyone wanted to talk to me. Please do not misunderstand, I was thrilled with the warm welcome I received and beyond delighted that everyone was so happy to have me here- it was honestly a relief that they were all so excited because I had an irrational fear that no one would talk to me- but when everyone and their mother asks you the same question and needs to know your every move, it becomes a bit overwhelming and exhausting smiling and pretending you’re okay with so much attention. All of the attention became a bit too much and the only reaction I could think of was to shut down for a bit: I talked less, my appetite was gone, I spent more time in my room, and just generally avoided people. As an introvert this was what I personally needed- a slow adjustment to new surroundings, new people, a new language, but as a traveler all I wanted to do was take advantage of this crucial get to know you time and ask as many questions as possible (the traveler part of me was thoroughly pissed off with my inner introvert). I know, a bit confusing right? Let me break it down for you all:

I love traveling, exploring new places and meeting new people, but I also love sitting in bed reading books or binging on Netflix all day. I've found that in my life I need to have a balance of the two in order for me to be my best self, and I think recently I've started to find that balance here.

Everyone here noticed that something was off. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Every morning I was asked at least a dozen times if I was feeling well or I was told that I looked sick. I didn't realize how badly I was actually coping with my new life here and how that was affecting not only my behavior but my over all appearance. So the staff gave me a week off to "get better" and gave me some space and I'm so glad they did because it was truly what I needed. After a few days off, I tried to be more active within the school and vocal with the teachers. Asking questions, eating lunch with a large group, spending time socializing in the girls dorm, while still having my alone time to recharge in the evenings. And guess what, it’s working out pretty well so far. I still have my moments of feeling overwhelmed, but I'm learning to take it as it comes and enjoy that everyone is so willing to practice their English with me.

Taking this opportunity and moving to Indonesia, I think subconsciously, I believed would be similar to study abroad and my previous international experiences, but this is nothing like I've done before.

There is no exact schedule for what I'm doing, I can't just hop on the metro and take a break from the world whenever I want, and sometimes the wifi doesn't work, but that’s okay. I remind myself when I'm feeling overwhelmed that I chose to come here. I chose to spend my year learning as much as I can from the students and teachers of this school, and although it has taken me the first month to fully adjust to this new life and lifestyle (and honestly, I'm sure I still have a ways to go), I think I'm finally in a place where I feel comfortable and okay with it all.

I'm getting used to the questions, the attention and concern, and I'm looking at it as everyones way of making sure I feel welcome and at home here. I cannot be the happy/smiley center of attention all the time, and I'm realizing that no one here expects me to be, they just want me to be myself- even if that means spending the evening in my bedroom to recoup for the next day.

In a month I've helped out in various English classes, started my own TOEFL preparation course for the teachers and host a weekly conversation hour open to everyone. The introvert in me is enjoying the moments in the office when I'm not teaching or prepping for a lesson, when I can read or watch an episode of Friends and have just a few moments to myself. The traveler in me loves getting to assist in the classroom or interacting with students around campus. I'm learning to balance what I want and what I need here and so far, so good.

BuzzFeed Definition of a Mild Introvert:
You're an introvert, but not to the point that you like to always be alone and constantly let down your friends. You know the value of a god book or really great film and your time by yourself is very important, but that doesn't mean you won't occasionally go along for drinks after work or on the odd night out when you fancy it. Still, you're more of a listener than a speaker, and you're much happier being on the outside of a conversation looking in than being the centre of attention.